October 2011
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August 2011
3 posts
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Penny: I give up. He’s impossible! Sheldon: I can’t be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, ‘I give up; he’s improbable’.
From episode The Gothowitz Deviation
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Daily Sheldom Wisdom
Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion. Leonard: You really think so? Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I’ve managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. BAZINGA!
From episode The Monopolar Expedition
July 2011
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Sheldon: For what it’s worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry.
From episode The Classified Material Turbulence
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Daily Sheldom Wisdom
Sheldon: That’s going to make me a chick magnet and I’m so busy as it is!
From episode The Herb Garden Germination
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Sheldon: When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, “Mwah, ha, ha.”
From episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Sheldon: I am aware of the way humans usually reproduce which is messy, unsanitary and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity. Penny: Oh, God. Sheldon: Yes, exactly.
From episode The Robotic Manipulation
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Leonard: What were you doing at Penny’s? Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you’ll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of ‘friends with benefits.’
From episode The Vegas Renormalization
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Daily Sheldom Wisdom
Leonard: You’ll never guess what just happened. Sheldon: You went out into the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future, which you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you’re back to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically...
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn’t speak any English. When I finally managed to convince her I was sick, she said, “Möchtest du eine Darmspülung?” Penny: What does that mean? Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, ‘Would you like an enema?’
From episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly
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Daily Sheldom Wisdom
[While pushing the time machine upstairs] Leonard: Come on, guys, push! Sheldon: If I push any harder I’m gonna give birth to my colon.
From episode The Nerdvana Annihilation
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Sheldon: A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.
From episode The Friendship Algorithm
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Sheldon: I’m taking a sabbatical because I won’t kowtow to mediocre minds. Penny: So you got canned, huh? Sheldon: Theoretical physicists do not get ‘canned’. But yeah.
From episode The Luminous Fish Effect
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Listen
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Sheldon: You know, it’s amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.
From episode The Codpiece Topology
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“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. If one only remembers to...”
– Albus Dumbledore (J.K. Rowling)
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Sheldon: Oh Mario … if only I could control everyone the way I control you … HOP! YOU LITTLE PLUMBER! HOP! HOP! HOP!
From episode The Codpiece Topology
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Daily Sheldom Wisdom
Ramona: You are so witty! Sheldon: Aren’t I?
From episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem
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“All I want is a room somewhere, Lots of chocolate for me to eat. Far away from the cold night air, Lots of coal makin’ lots of ‘eat. With one enormous chair. Warm face, warm ‘ands, warm feet. Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly? Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?
Oh, so loverly...
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Sheldon: There was a tall man from Cornwall Whose length exceeded his bed. “My body fits on it But barely upon it There’s no room for my big Cornish head!”
From episode The Vegas Renormalization
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Daily Sheldon Wisdom
Leonard: What were you doing at Penny’s? Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you’ll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of ‘friends with benefits.’
From episode The Vegas Renormalization
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Daily Sheldom Wisdom
Sheldon: I’ll have a diet Coke. Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks. Sheldon: Fine… I’ll have a virgin Cuba Libre. Penny: That’s… rum and Coke without the rum. Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?
From episode The Grasshopper Experiment
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